57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/17/16

The Girlfriend Experience: Awe, free preview weekends, three days when I plop myself on the couch and am reminded why I do not watch many movies anymore because there are not that many being made. Except when I went to check out Starz free preview last weekend they had taken all but one movie off their On Demand channel. It is one thing to waste an entire weekend watching crappy movies On Demand, but I am not sitting around waiting for them to start (well, except Ant-Man so I am now caught up on Marvel movies… which will last less than a month).

But while Starz took off all their movies from On Demand to keep people like me from exploiting the free weekend, they did upload the entire first season of The Girlfriend Experience the day it premiere. I was not expecting much since the movie was horrible. Yet is was surprisingly compelling and actually the prostitution part was the least interesting as the lead character as an intern stumbling on some shady dealing at the law firm she is at was much more fascinating. The show kind of reminded me of last year’s best new show Mr. Robot in the show is very cold, you could sub in the shady law firm with Evil Corp. Both the leads sever mental issues but as introverted as Elliot is, Christine is that much more an extrovert. And where Elliot had friends, family, a therapist, and some drugs to keep him grounded, Christine lives in a world where being an extrovert is encouraged and even rewarded.

Unfortunately after six and a half hours on the couch Sunday, the show ended with a huge thud. I would even say it was the worst season finale of a great first season of a show since Lost (if you saw the entire first season too, insert your own, both seasons ended with the camera panning into a deep dark hole here). Really the season finale was basically everything that was wrong with the movie. I do not know where the show goes in season, but if the season finale is any indication, I was a lot less interested had they ended the season an episode earlier. Granted I probably will not see it until the nest Starz free weekend, and that is only if they do not take the season off On Demand.

House of Lies: Oh Veronica Mars, you had to know Vinnie Van Lowe would do something sleazy. But you had to know, just like every other time the group gets split up, they would end up back all together, I am just a little surprised it happened as early as the second episode.

Fear the Walking Dead: Could they have come up with a more boring season premiere? It is becoming pretty clear why the flagship show flash forward a couple months and went straight into the middle of the zombie apocalypse.
You can download Fear the Walking Dead on iTunes.

Billions: At the start of the season, Showtime, of all the networks, had to know they could not keep Sargent Brody on the show too long. The season had to end with him get arrested. They just could not do a cat and mouse game for multiple season. Maybe season two is the trial, but there had to be some payoff. Yet here we are at the end of the season and the biggest thing that happened in the season finale was Wendy quitting (and getting a very nice severance package). What is worse it seemed like the writers had this big plan to end the season with a big show down between Axe and Chuck (okay the Axe tearing up Axe Capital and then “going deeper” was pretty cool) but we already had that scene in the season premiere and again in the middle of the season and really all I came away from that scene is, goodness both of these people are really horrible people who deserve to lose.

Quantico: So the big twist at the end was Shelby was driving the van. Meh, it seemed pretty obvious she was doing this against her will so it was not as if the big twist was she was the one behind the phone call.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Supergirl: This is the second time the show ended an episode with Supergirl charging an antagonist. Not cool. Also not cool was having Martian Manhunter show up in the Next Time On promo even though I never thought he was actually dead. I do think he is playing possum and this was his and Alex’s plan all along to make Non think she was a mindless drone. Also not cool, Superman as a mindless drone so he cannot help his cousin. Seriously, having him off the planet presumably helping the Green Lantern Corp. (though I doubt he will ever hear that term on the show) was good enough, having him join the mindless drones way off in the distance was really cheesy. Really my big takeaway from the episode was Maxwell Lord calling the president “she.” I guess it should not be that surprising that there was not a president Lex Luther in this universe. I wonder if we will get to meet her, if it is someone from the comics, or it was some cheap, hey a woman can be president Hollywood ploy.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Gotham: I thought Penquin killing the dog was going to be the most despicable thing he did this week but feeding his step-brother and sister to his step-mother… that is some Eric Cartman level evil right there.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: During my last Power Rankings I mentioned hoe diverse the top twenty was, but for some inexplicable reason, all four Coach’s Comeback were boring white dude and of course the bored housewives ate that up and two got voted through making half of America’s Saves white males. I looked back and in the Live Playoff seasons, white guys have made up at least half of America’s saves five of seven seasons (interesting enough, not one white guy was voted through by America in season four). I do not understand why the producers are letting bored housewives to run the show into the ground the way they did America Idol and their obsession with WGWG over there. It was pretty appropriate that The Voice hit a series low in the ratings for the results show. Count me as one of the many they have lost for the season because I have no interest in another boring white dude dominated season.

Lucifer: Well that was an interesting twist that Lucifer can only be hurt when the lady cop is around. So what exactly is her deal? We already know the Jedi mind tricks thing does not work on him and now she can hurt him. Was she sent, or blessed, by God?
You can download Lucifer on iTunes.

Blindspot: Oh Chrissy Seaver, your boyfriend dies going after a clue on his own, why are you doing the same? And if you are going to have Chrissy talking to people in her head, at lead make her Mr. Robot level paranoid about it.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I had to laugh when the guy Daisy was hunting down commented on her partner’s “boy band hair.” Well that was until we actually got a good look at the guy and he looked even more like a male model. And that is pretty cheap to offer a trade and then renig. I actually want to know what his power is now.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Path: I have a long standing rule to never believe someone is dead until you see the body (and even then still be suspicious), but I was pretty confident that Lyla Garrity was dead at the end of the last episode. Apparently not and not only that the Kool-Aide is strong because not only did she not call the police when she went to the hospital, she went even deeper down the rabbit hole and now is taking a bigger opposition within the cult out west. As much as I enjoyed Hannibal, I thought its cancelation was probably a good thing for Hugh Dancy’s mental health, but his new role is pretty dark too. That one scene in the bedroom was almost as disturbing as anything he did on Hannibal. And I wonder if 7R is just an excuse to torture Eddie. Then after Mary’s story, I wonder if FBI is more reluctant to take her back to her father.
You can stream The Path on Hulu.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II: In the two seasons they have done this gimmick, one running theme is that everyone on the Brains tribe just completely overthinks everything. Aubry targeting the hot chick was just a really bad idea. If she is wrong, hot chick loyal, now you do not have the ability to split your votes, if you are right, the other alliance has two Idols to play with. Aubry lucked out that hot chick won Immunity, except Aubry came up with a dumber idea; vote out Debbie simply for telling hot chick the plan. Oh, and it gets dumberer, when the old dude tells Aubry how dumb the idea is and he will not vote for Debbie, Aubry tries to recruit hot chick, the person she originally wanted to get out, the person she was now targeting Debbie for because she did not trust with the vote splitting plan, to get the deciding vote. What?!?

That was just comically stupid. Now Aubry loses a loyal member of her alliance, is stuck with a potential flipper in the hot chick, the douchebag alliance still has two Idols, and now you do not have enough people to split the vote. Had Aubry just stuck with the vote splitting, best case scenario, they pick right, one of the douchebags go home; worst case scenario, both Idols get played, they chose the wrong two people to place votes on, and body builder goes home, but both Idols are at of play. Of course it seems like Aubry does not know what exactly the SuperIdol does so she may not realize that whoever they split their votes for could Voltron the two Idols after the votes are read, but still, even if that happens, both Idols are flushed and they are still down an alliance member.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II on iTunes.

The Americans: Nina got the ax last week, will Martha be joining her soon? It does not seem like she can keep things up like they are for very much longer.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Well that was unexpected. That is not to say that it crossed my mind that Lizzie faked her death to get away from Red. It was noticeable that she said something to extent that she thought that doctor was going to be the one on call. Did she make a plot with him? It would be weird to kill Lizzie now, basically killed by the guys who were being very careful not to harm her. And he never learned who hired them. Maybe it was Lizzie who hired them as part of the decoy.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Orphan Black: There is nothing more annoying on television these days than the proliferation of hashtags blanketing the screen. Just the show’s name is annoying enough, but it is worse when they try to create new hashtags for specific scenes. Though I kind of liked when Orphan Black let me know to the effect they were going #BackToTheBeginning because it may have taken longer for me to realize they started the season with a flashback. I wonder if we will get more Beth this season, since the flashback did not go all the way up to running into Sarah, I have a feeling we may see her again.
You can downloadvOrphan Black on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/20/16

Once Upon a Time: Poor Abigail Hobbs, suffers so long on Hannibal only to get her throat slit by him and end up in the underworld. I figured she would end up being the love interest from the Hercules movie, but that movie was so unmemorable I barely even remember her. And since this half of the season is based on his movie, it is weird that it looks like Hercules only gets one episode. I guess being a demi-god means he could probably travel to the Underworld whenever he wants, so maybe he will be back to take on his uncle.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: Oh Lip, you just do not pour Jack Daniels down your throat, which was just the bane of my existence in college. I guess I am lucky to never walking up in a hospital and downing that. But maybe the dumber part of the episode was Fiona excepting a proposal by a guy using her current husband’s engagement ring. Shouldn’t it happening at your divorce proceeding be a huge red flag as to you not being marriage ready? And I cannot help but assume Frank is guying to go through that weed stash befor the commune makes enough to move to Hawaii, here is a guy who still has not learned to never, under any circumstance, get high off his own supply.

The Walking Dead: It took me a couple of minutes to recognize Alicia Witt. And it only took me a couple more minutes before realizing I do not want to see evil Alicia Witt. At least she died quickly, well after having her face eaten off. Ouch.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Billions: At the beginning of the episode I thought, oh wow, having the janitor as a mole is kind of brilliant, he can go through trash, is usually alone after hours to do other snooping. That may actually be better than blackmailing the lesbian. Who would suspect the janitor? But I turns out the attorney’s mole is actually a double agent and Axe knows everything. Though how does this even end good for the mole / double agent? Does Axe have a retirement plan for him where he lives on the beach of a country without an extradition tready? There is the old saying that some people play checkers against people playing chess, Axe may be playing three dimensional chess while Rhoades is just playing regular chess.

Quantico: Stupid promo monkey, last week when they said someone was going to die this week, I figured there is no way they would kill of the person with a bomb strapped to their waist, but that is exactly who they killed (granted not with that bomb). Also my theory about death no meaning much on the show since the actors would still be in flashbacks became moot because that chick got sent packing in the flashbacks too.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Supergirl: Awe, red kryptonite, always good to spruce things up. I did like how they explained it as Maxwell Lord failing to recreate the regular kind. It also explains why Jimmy would not instantly know what was going on because Superman would have never been exposed before. Apparently Superman was too busy to stop his cousin from destroying her city so instead Martian Manhunter had to expose himself. Though that still does not explain why they did not have any green kryptonite to weaken her first so he did not have to out himself as an alien too, and in the process go, oh yeah, the guy whose body I took over is dead. Still I give it one episode before a threat so great pops up that they need to release him to help Supergirl in the fight.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Gotham: Holy Lori Petty sighting! And still sporting her Tank Girl haircut about a quarter of a century later. Interesting that the show has younger versions of all the Batman buddies and villains and yet we get what I assume is a older Harley Quinn surrogate. But of course since she is in the movies, we will likely never get an actual character named Harley Quinn on the show. That would have been a lot more interesting than the Silver St. Cloud we got instead.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Lucifer: Holy Herc back in a wheelchair sighting! A couple episodes back I suggested what this show needed was a serialized component, except I was hoping for something more supernatural, not a cop corruption case. And of course the separated husband shot the other cop, it is really the only possible suspect. Maybe this will end up having a supernatural component because Lucifer did save the guy. Does he know that he was shot by the husband and that is why he saved him? But if so, why not tell lady cop her husband is corrupt.
You can download Lucifer on iTunes.

Blindspot: Oh wow, a Chrissy Seaver training montage, get that girl in the field. But I thought for sure the mole was going to end up being Sutter ex-girlfriend. Oh well.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Ooo, Talbert was the mole, not a good way to start off that relationship. But I missed part of the episode because my local ABC station broke into the show for John Kasich’s victory speech as if anyone who actually wanted to hear it was not all ready watching CNN or another 24-hour cable channel. So after a minute of him not actually saying anything (Apparently there was a protester yet the cameraman could not find him) I flipped over to The Voice until it went to a commercial. So I switch back to ABC and they were airing commercials already. So I flipped to CNN and Kasich was still talking. Seriously, if you are going to break into a show just show the whole speech at that point. So I missed about five minute of the show. I went to Hulu the next day but forgot ABC has a stupid eight day waiting period as if they do not want people to ever get caught up. I am certainly not watching it On Demand if I cannot skip to the part I missed, so hopefully nothing important happened during those five minutes.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Wait, let me get this straight, CeCe is not Alison’s sister, but her cousin, that her parents adopted (and then ignored even existed) whose mother is Mrs. Dilarentas twin (and apparently has the same initials A.D.), is just as tech savy as her daughter, and is in cahoots with CeCe’s doctor who married Alison as part of some plan that involves an extremely lifelike Wilden mask. Alrighty. And of course Hanna’s plan to admit she was the killer turned out horribly.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty: After Lizzie got the boot two weeks ago, I came to the realization that I do not particularly like anyone this season besides the hot chick alliance. And as if the show was trolling me (and every red-blooded American straight dude watching), when they split the tribes into two, the hot chick alliance somehow ended up on three different beaches. Making things worse, the third hot chick would replace the person who gets voted out waking it is both tribes best interest to get rid of a Beauty to make sure they do not become a majority on their tribe. What an amazing turnabout because had Caleb had not been pulled from the game, and assuming the tribe split when the same way with Caleb and Hot Chick #3 go to opposite tribes, the Beauty tribe goes from a majority in both tribes to being outnumbered or even in the tribes.

What is amazing is the actually had a way to make lemonade out of lemons because Gay Asian had an Idol, if he uses it correctly, can turn hiss tribe from a Brains dominated tribe into a Beauty controlled one. Except Gay Asian and Scot showed exactly why they did not start on the Brains tribe because they both made extremely dumb strategic moves. Instead of using the Idol, giving his tribe a Beauty majority, now Gay Asian is exactly where he was when the tribes swapped, one less Beauty than Brain with untrustable Scot in the middle. So he may very have to use that Idol next week except now when someone gets voted out, there is not another Beauty coming to help you out. I fully understand wanting to save an Idol for yourself, but the one time you do give an Idol to someone else is to get the numbers on your side. And what is even worse now for Gay Asian is that now not only does he not have the numbers, everyone knows he has an Idol which puts him in a horrible position in the game.

As for Scot, telling Gay Asian not to play the Idol was a bad strategic move too. So what if he now knows where two Idols are? Does he really think that if he is voted out, Gay Asian and Bounty Hunter are really going to come together like Voltron to save him? Do you know what is better than knowing where two Idols are? Having your own Idol. And if Gay Asian plays his Idol, there will be a new one in play the very next day that you can go out and find for yourself (and there is another reason Gay Asian should have played his, he already found one Idol, go and replace it after you play one like Kelley Wentworth last season). You can easily convince Bounty Hunter to enter a pact to save each other, than to get two people to give up their Idols for basically nothing.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty on iTunes.

The Americans: It took the daughter three seasons to find out her parents were Russians, so I guess it should not be surprising nothing happens with that information except tell her minister who I guess is bound by some client confidentiality agreement or something. Kind of a run of the mill premiere as I guess these chemical weapons will be this season’s theme. How disappointing Stan did not break it while assaulting Philip.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville: What a boring wedding. No deaths, no crashers. Just Avery annoyingly getting asked where Juliette was every two minutes. At least let Layla go HAM after learning Jeff did not kill himself and Juliette was just covering it up so she did not look bad. Meh.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/13/16

Once Upon a Time: I kind of half joked when Emma said they were going to the Underworld that Hades from Hercules better show up. Then at the end of the episode the king of the Underworld’s hair turned flame blue and it turned out I was right. Man, they are really scrapping the bottom of the Disney barrel on this one. Are they going to Notre Dame next?
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: Oh Frank, everyone knows the number one rule of drug trafficking is never get high off your own supply. Of course that was going to end badly. Just like Debbie and her pregnant fetish guy. I saw that coming as soon as he asked for her help. Yet that was not even the most shameless moment of the episode. When Lip was confronted by Queenie, I thought, oh no, Lip is going to have sex with his… um; father’s baby momma I guess is what you would call it. And they actually kind of did it depending, not to get all Bill Clinton, on how you describe sex. Physically helping someone to, um, finish the job, kind of constitutes sex. But going by the Bill Clinton definition it was not.

The Walking Dead: So everyone is hooking up now, which means there is going to be a lot of deaths coming up soon. Since she is captured, could Carol be next? I am hard pressed to think they would kill off a pregnant lady, but it seemed apropos that whoever has the two got introduced pretty much the same way Glen was introduced on the show. I thought Abraham was getting the he is about to die edit last week but this week he just dumped Rosita presumably so he can shack up with Sasha instead. Sure I would not kick Sasha out of bed, but Rosita has to be the most attractive chick you are going to find during a zombie apocalypse. But I guess mullet guy has a chance now.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Billions: You know someone is really mad when they get out of a pool and go straight to their car, no shirt, no shoes, not even toweling off, to go punch someone. But c’mon Axe, you have to at least make the kids spend the night at camp before letting them give up. It may be interesting to watch those brats suffer if everything is taken away when Axe goes to prison. Actually let’s not take the Brody mistake of keeping the family on the show too long for this show too.

Quantico: So someone is going to die next week. Except the gay dude died in the Winter finale and him being around in the flashbacks kind of lessens the impact of the death. Since she has a bomb strapped to her, she would be the obvious choice, which means she is not dying or that would be the worst promo monkey job of all time. Instead I think it is going to be one of the twins which would have even less of an impact because not only would they still be in flashbacks but there would still be one twin still alive.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Gotham: We have known Hugo Strange has been collecting “dead” people since the Winter finale when we saw Galivan being wheeled and we got to see him in some sort of tank this week. Behind him was three more tanks, the next two with their backs t us and the next facing towards us. I did not recognize that last guy and it is hard to identify someone by the back of their head but that second guy did have red hair so Jerome instantly came to mind. There was a very Fish Mooney looking figure during the Winter finale. So the question is when do these zombies get reanimated? Was the Mr. Freeze serum the final ingredient Hugo needs?
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: The sad sack stories have been the worst part of the show (well the proliferation of boring white dudes over the past four seasons may actually be worse) but my goodness, do we really need to sit through a dude talking about he kept on hitting decline on his phone right before his dad killed himself? That was just really too rough. And of course it gets worse because no one bothered to turn their chair which seems to happen to some of the people with the saddest stories as if the producers bring them on only for their story knowing they probably will not turn a chair.

Every season I do a bi where I mention all the artists I am surprised anyone covered on the show because the Blind Auditions is where the people are most adventurous and I was surprised that dude sang an Incubus song. And now that I think about, maybe half of those people end up not getting a chair turned. Look at the guy who closed out the week, he auditions last season with a great Cameo song, does not get a chair to turn. Does an overdone song this time and is on a team.

Oh, and holy Ellie Lawrence sighting! Talk about letting people come back, I know they do not let people who get a chair to turn to try out again but really anyone screwed royalty deserves to come back and be on a team with a real coach. Although if they brought Ellie back, they would also have to change the rules to ban anyone who voted for Braiden Sunshine from ever voting again, which they should do anyway. And like the first week, I was pretty meh on the talent this season. Pharrell picked up another indie chick to add to the three he pick up last week, but Christina actually nabbed the best indie chick of the season (so far) with Kristen Marie.


Apparently The Voice is doing that stupid scheduling where Monday’s show will half Blind Auditions, half Battle Round, so I will release my Blind Audition Power Ranking Tuesday evening even though two people will probably already had been sent home (with the third loser being stolen). During the Best of the Blind Auditions special (so none of the five singers yet to be put on a team qualify as Best; though three of the five the only other time they had this format went on to the Live Playoffs so do not completely write them off; sure none of those three got saved by the public vote in the Live Playoffs, but anyway) they did give away a couple of the Battle pairing, I am going to make my predictions now (the person I think is going to win is listed first):

Team Blake
Mary Sarah vs. Justin Whisnant
Paxton Ingrim vs. Brittany Lawrence
Brittany Kennell vs. Trey O’Dell

Team Pharrell
Brian Nhira vs. Abby Celso
Nick Hagelin vs. Jessica Crosbie
Emily Keener vs. Johnathan Bach
Hannah Huston vs. Maya Smith

Team Adam
Natalie Yacovazzi vs. Nate Butler
Laith Al-Saadi vs Matt Tedder

Team Christina
Alison Porter vs. Lacey Mandingo
Tamar Davis vs. Shalyah Fearing
Malik Heard vs. Bryan Bautista

My first takeaway from the pairing is that Pharrell had four previews (and he is the only one who still has two spots left on his team compared to one for everyone else) while Adam only two previews, one of which was between two guy I kind of thought may have been fodder (even though I do like Laith). Actually the other pairing is between two people I would be a bit surprised if either made the Live Shows too. Last spring Pharrell had five of his six Battles result in a Steal and I wonder if that is going to happen again. If my predictions are right I could see someone stealing Abby and Maya who got good edits so far. And predicting Steals do seem to be completely random, but Pharrell Stealing Shalyah. Has he ever not Stolen a young soul singer? There also seems to be more co-ed battles than usual. I wonder if this is a way to consciously limit the number of boring whit dudes make the Live Shows this year after six of the eight singers America saved in the Playoffs last season were boring white dudes (out of a possible seven). My other takeaway from the previews was how much time they spent on only one of the Battle pairing which made some of these predictions really easy (sorry Maya and Lacy). We get it producers you really, really want Alison to win so a female singer and coach will win this season. Except the more you push, the more the bored housewives are going to rebel and have yet another boring white dude win for the fifth straight season.

Lucifer: Two take always from this episode; Lucifer’s brother calls him Lucy. And if the brother is now the gatekeeper to Hades, just how many people are escaping during his many trips to Erth to try to convince his brother to come back home? And when does Lucifer start hunting down those souls because that show would be much more interesting than this one.
You can download Lucifer on iTunes.

Blindspot: Holy Smash Williams sighting! But the bigger shock was Kurt’s sister and Edgar… who knew? Not that they were hooking up but that character’s name was Edgar, I had to look it up and had no clue what his name was. Oh yeah, then there was Jane Doe learning she died.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: So what was with the three months from now opener? Civil War does come out in May and the last Captain America movie is really the only time something in the movie actually had much of an effect on the show. But it is probably just a teaser for the season finale. But then again, three months is June and early May is when shows tend to wrap up for the year.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: The Liars have had some epically dumb ideas over the years, but Hannah admitting she killed CeCe. So what happens when A gets revenge or possibly calls the police?
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty: So we had our first medical leave of the season (second because apparently Lizzie had to be flown back to America right after being voted out to deal with some staph infections). Just last week I mentioned how even when the person who is getting voted out they always plant a seed for someone else, this is the first time I remember them not even put up a red herring, and went straight to Tribal Council and did not even show Blondie scrambling. Shame the merge came a week too late for her because she could have teamed up with the hot chick alliance. Same for Lizzie. Should be interesting to she how it plays out, if anyone find the Brains Hidden Immunity Idol, or if they are going to put more Idols into play in hopes that a Super Idol gets played.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/6/16

The Oscars: I have not watched the Oscars since… well, the last time Chris Rock hosted, and again that is the only reason I turned in because I think Ex-Machina was the only nominated movie I saw last year (Straight Outta Compton sits unopened on my desk for the past month; and though I have not seen it, and I do not want to be the last person to go on a race inspired rant, but Ice Cube’s Jheri curl got robbed for Best Hair and Makeup). Okay, so I only watched the first half hour before flipping over to The Walking Dead (I did flip back during the commercials, but I was a bit underwhelmed by the monologue. Obviously Rock had to bring up the lack of diversity in the major categories, but did the topic really have to take up the entire monologue (and from what I heard, but of his bits after that)? Sure it was funny but how about actually talking about this year’s movies, even if I had not seen any? The only none-race joke I heard from the parts I heard from Rock was saying Carol was the third best girl on girl flick he saw last year. Oh well, these are the reasons why I skip the Oscars anyway. It was nice to see Brie Larson (Envy Adams!) win an award as I have supported her going all the way back to her cheesy Avril Lavinge knock-off days. Seriously, go to my list of The 100 Best Songs of 2005, and scroll down to #89.


The Walking Dead: So Abraham is going to die soon. If not those were some weird scenes with him, I am a little surprised he did not die this week. And again I show I would be too smart for the show because my first thought about the Hilltop community was, why don’t they just move in together? A lot of people died in that last zombie attack so there has to be open housing in Alexandra, the Hilltop need better protection than spears and Alexandra needs food. But of course that would be too obvious and neither trust each other anyway. Instead they are going to go kamikaze on some evil warlord camp.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Supergirl: Did they bring in Smallville’s Supergirl to make the current incarnation look like a much better actress in comparison? The Smallville version looks more the part, more than this version, but goodness she is not very good actor.
Supergirl on iTunes.

Gotham: B.D. Wong is having quite the evil moment right now. He looks to be part of some Illuminate-type group in Mr. Robot and now he shows up as Hugo Strange. But really, overall kind of a meh episode for a show returning from a big break. But then again I never really card much for Mr. Freeze.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: Big changes on the show!!! Okay, they moved the family waiting room to the side of the stage. Has The Voice had to downsize? They did lose their big phone sponsor last season whereas the coaches’ salaries only grow every season. And come to think of it, I do not remember them mentioning their coffee sponsor either. Though watched on Hulu and every ad was promoting Jordan Smith and some unnamed credit card so they do have some money coming in. The bigger news was how lackluster the first week was I kind of like Caity Peters but I was really bored for the first four hour. But I did go back and six of my seven favorite Blind Auditions were not in the first week, so hopefully they are saving some gems for next week.


Blindspot: Maybe it is the election year and I am really tuned into government spending, but sending a team to a remote island in the Mediterranean because of tattoos does not seem like money well spent even if it did turn out to uncover a lost plane. But the more absurd part of the show was having the PC guy and his mustache being a high ranking official within the FBI. Granted President Trump may very well give the PC guy that position when he is elected.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes.

The Muppets: Jack White Jack White being the funniest part of the whole season probably sums up the season as a whole.
You can download The Muppets on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agent Carter: They made a really bad calculation in not having Howard Stark around full time because he is always good time, especially when he wrapped himself around Peggy to help her hold the hose. Bu overall this season just did not live up to last season because Whitney Frost just did not turn out to be much of an antagonist. Dottie was a much better foil last season.
You can download Marvel's Agent Carter on iTunes.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty: When the Brains lost, I thought great, Cat Lady is the obvious pick, she lost the challenge and she is annoying. Except when they got back to camp, no one brought up her name. Instead the broke down into three pairs, the “hot” pare targeted the ice cream dude for no reason, the “old” pair” wanted to get rid of Lizzie because she was a threat, and the “weird” pair wanted the doctor gone because he is pompous with the old pair getting their way. Boooo. Lizzie was easily my favorite this season and with her gone I am just now realizing just how unlikeable this cast is. Aside from the annoying cat lady and the pompous doctor, the two Brawn dudes left are douchebags, the gay Asian is also annoying, and I would probably also find Blondie annoying if I did not feel bad for her being stuck with the two douchbags kind of like Shirin two seasons ago. And that is three poorly casts of new contestants in a row if you throw in the first Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty which had three of maybe the ten most unlikeable people in the history of the show in Tony, Kass, and Trish. It may be time to find a new casting agent. Really the only people worth rooting for this season are the hot chick alliance which will probably get eliminated as soon as the tribe swap happens.

Oh yeah, and we got a big twist this season in the Super Idol! Now anyone who has two Idols in their pocket can play that AFTER the votes had been read. Seems reasonable because if you have multiple Idols that should help you more. But how often has that ever happened, in twenty two seasons that they have had Hidden Immunity Idols, I only remember three times that it has happened: James (who got booted with both in his pocket and really needed that new twist), Parviti (who pulled out the greatest move in Survivor history), and Malcolm (who pulled off the worst as his douchebag alliance went home in consecutive weeks after that). Then my buddy Doug pointed out that both Tony and Jeremy have done it more recently. Still that is about once every four seasons average. It will be interesting if this twist will cause more people share Idols instead of keeping them to themselves like most people have done in recent season, or if it will never even be utilized.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 11/28/15

Homeland: So we finally learned why Allison is in bed with the Russians: blackmail for literally being in bed with her informant who she was going to run away with before he set her up. But I do wonder if Allison knew if the Acrobat was still alive or not . He did end up in the vacation destination Allison talked about (what a horrible screen saver, all that is going to do is burn that image into the screen, it should have at least rotated, and what douchebag these days still uses a screen saver instead of the auto screen shut off; it is just a waste in electricity dude). But if Allison knows that Carrie knows the Acrobat is still alive, you let the assassin to kill her because Carrie can figure out everything.

The Walking Dead: The show did not fool me when it looked like Glen was getting his guts pulled out the last time we saw him on screen. Then they pulled the actor's name from the credit making me think, oh wow, he may actually be dead, but it ended up being just a huge troll move because it was the other dude who fell on top of him and it was his guts being pulled out and Glen actually was able to pull himself under the trash bin and the and the hoard of zombies conveniently dispersed even though they knew he was under there and started clawing at him. After this obvious conclusion, I was hoping the writers actually pulled a bigger troll move and at the ended the episode with a zombie coming out of nowhere to bite him. Maybe they are saving that for the mid-season finale.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

The Affair: I am starting to wonder just what is the timeline in the future. This whole time I was thinking it was maybe five years in the future but I am beginning to think the future is right around the corner. Is the baby currently gestating in Allison's belly the one that may or may not be Scotty's? If so, does that mean the two hooked up while Allison was in her hippy retreat phase? Could Cole's wedding be the season finale?I kind of wish the show would spend more time in the future because that is becoming much more interesting. Or least give annoying daughter her own act.

Into the Badlands: The show looked stylish and there was not much else to watch this week so I thought I would give it a try. Yeah the show looked cool and the fight scenes are fun, but there is so really bad writing on this show. The plot seems to just be an amalgamation of every post apocalyptic warlord run future movie ever made. And for a show entitled Into the Badlands, there are a lot of characters talking about leaving the Badlands.
You can download Into the Badlands on iTunes.

Supergirl: Maxwell Lord is kind of a huge douchebag. Not only does he set up all those tests for Supergirl, he actually comes clean about it. Even Bond villains do not tell James their evil plan until after they think he is about to die. And I got this creepy vibe that Lord is going to hook up with Supergirl's sister at some point.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Gotham: The teenagers have been the weak link for a season and a half now thanks to some bad writing and even worse acting but that Bruce doublecross on Silver was great. When you get the dude from Sons of Anarchy to play a bad guy I completely bought that he would rough up a bunch of kids. Then you have a great scene between Alfred and Tigress, the stilettos on the elevator roof was a great shot. But it was obvious that Galivan would get off but the explanation was silly with the mayor changing his story, was that the plan all along or did Galivan threaten him from inside the prison? Fall finale (ugg) next week with James teaming up with Penguin to find Bruce and Galivan. But let me predict that it is Silver turning on her uncle that frees the Son of Gotham.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Blindspot: The promo two weeks ago promised someone would die before the Fall Finale (ugg) and I just assumed that was Chrissy Seaver's boyfriend which was kind of cheap for that tease. Except we got a legitimate shocking death this week when tree tattoo guy killed CIA guy who I thought was going to be a big bad that looms on the show. Then tree tattoo guy shows Lady Siff of Lady Siff saying everything is going as planned and she did this to herself. What!?! So if I am understanding it correctly, she basically Trojan Horsed herself into the FBI because it is corrupt and she needs to fix it from the inside. Okay, not the dumbest reveal in television history.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Survivor: Second Chances: What a range of emotions it may have been good to have a double episode on Thanksgiving Eve. The first hour ended with a low as Jeremy stupidly wasted an Idol on Stephan (which looks even more stupid after what happened in the second hour) leaving Ciera with the most votes that counted. And what I thought that happened ended up happening with Stephan being targeted at the next Tribal Council and Jeremy went from an alliance with two Idols and an Extra Vote to just one Idol and your closest alliance member heading to Pondarosa. And why are you saving someone who does not even trust you enough to tell you what his advantage was. Of course Ciera deserves some blame because it was stupid to express her plan to out Stephan in ear shot of Jeremy anyway. You float the idea of Stephan being a huge threat with his advantage in the group and then sway people in smaller groups.

But as dreadful as the first episode turned out, the second Tribal Council goes in the Pantheon. Seriously, what was Stephan doing? Again the split vote was unnecessary and ultimately sent him home. Why are you fearing Abi Maria has an Idol? This is a person who openly admitted to having an Idol the last time she played simply because Probsts asked if anyone else wanted to share that they have an Idol mostly in a joking way. If you wanted to know if Abi Maria had an Idol, probably all you had to do was ask. And this led to a weird vote. When Stephan stole Joe's vote I thought, well Joe is a goner. Except Stephan instead votes for Abi Maria and they uses Joe's vote to vote for Joe (which technically should not count because Survivor rules state you cannot vote for yourself, not that it ended up mattering). So I thinking if Stephan is confidant enough to split, he must had pulled Tasha and Spencer back into the fold but when that last vote was cast, it was Stephan who when home. What a great Tribal.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 11/22/15

Once Upon a Time: Well that was weird, I know that it was not designed to be a two parter but still weird of all the episodes to pair up, why these two? Why not a two part winter finale instead? The first hour was heavy into the big mystery of the season where we finally learn Emma's plan (she saved Captain Hook by turning him into another Dark One, huh, and want to put the darkness into the Wicked Witch and kill her eliminating the darkness once and for all, alrighty) but then they follow it up with two characters we have not seen for a couple seasons. Both explanations of where Mulan and Red Riding Hood were a little silly. Really all it made me do was wonder what ever happened to Cinderella and Hurley the Ogre.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: When Saul was riding down the elevator, I was thinking to myself, if this were any other spy show, he would just ninja chop everyone and the door would open with everyone else conscienceless on the floor. What actually happened was almost as absurd as a bunch of ninjas abducted him instead. So now Saul has defected to Israel. Alrighty. If the CIA really wanted him, doesn't Israel give him back? Though I am sure the season will be resolved and Saul will be vindicated before that happens. Them the episode ends with Carrie calling Allison for help. So Carrie did not recognize Allison's voice when she called Quinn's attempted assassin's phone number?

The Walking Dead: So who said "Help" at the end of the episode? It did not cross my mind that it was a not so dead Glenn until the internet reminded me he was out there. Did he even had a walkie? At any rate I still do not think it was him but an yet to be seen newbie who hijacked the frequency.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

The Affair: During the early episodes I thought that the differences in the stories were just how Noah and Allison were spinning their stories to the police, but after that blow up at Thanksgiving where Allison called out Noah for distorting her versions of what happened, I am beginning to think that Noah's version his his book and Allison's version is a tell all story she will write in the future. Of course then that would mean Cole and Helen are also going to write their own tell all book... and possibly in future seasons, Whitney, the red head dude that is always lurking around, and probably even a posthumous book by Scotty. Actually the red head and drunk daughter end up getting their own segments in the future because they are becoming my favorite parts of the show because the four main characters are becoming increasingly dreadful.

Supergirl: Have we always known Dean Cain was dead? I kept wondering why he was not at Thanksgiving and then I finally learn at the end he was killed in a plane accident, possibly at the hands of Supergirl's other boss. And looking at Ally McBeal's new face may be rough but she definitely gets all the best lines: "You have the wit of a YouTube comment."
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Blindspot: I am wrong for actually kind of like Rich Dot Com? But anyway. I (apparently) was half right on Chrissy Seaver's boyfriend. So he has not turned out to be not be a bad guy but it looks like he will turn out to be the not so socking death last week promised (though it is kind of unclear if he is actually dead, the boss gave a head shack but was it a "it does not look good shake" or a "he is not going to make it" shake? Since the next promo did not promise a death I am guessing that was it.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: For me this season has been all about Simmons other planet and we finally got big reveal after big reveal about the place. So back in the earliest days of Hydra, which apparently pre-dates Red Skull by centuries, if not millenniums, there was the first Inhuman and they (for reason I did not quite understand) shipped it off to this other planet and would occasionally send sacrifices to the planet until they could build an Inhuman army for it to command. Okay, that is kind of awesome. Now evil Hydra guy want to bring the first Inhuman back and has to figure out how SHIELD was able to get Simmons back. This should be interesting to see if the evil Hydra guy is able to succeed in this plan or not or will SHIELD be able to stop them. Or maybe SHIELD will unwillingly bring that Inhuman back when they rescue Simmons astronaut friend.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chance: In a season of so many twists I have lost count we got two more this week. First off the lame one, again the show hid a clue to the Hidden Immunity Idol instead of the actual Idol. But instead of hiding it at the Immunity Challenge, which was a cool chance, it was just some silly rules based scavenger hunt where Jeremy could only retrieve it at night when everyone was asleep. But the other twist was much more interesting, if you quit the Immunity Challenge you could receive an advantage in the game. I am actually surprised only two people jumped down, in the torrential downpour, I think I would take my chance with reaching the buoy first unless I was part of the Witches Coven who were on the chopping block. The advantage is a twist on last season's extra vote twist but instead of getting an extra parchment to write down another name, you get to steal someone else's vote. That is evil, I love it.

Then finally someone broke from the massive nine person alliance, I never understood why no one seemed to want to work with Abi Maria, Ciera, or Kass because those seem like lay-ups in the finals. Of course the vote came down to Kelley W. and Kelly W. (which was what Spencer actually wrote on his parchment). It looks like there may be another twist next week as the promo shows everyone drawing rocks. It is during the day so it is probably is not a tied Tribal Council (plus if you are Stephan, you make sure you break a tie with your advantage). Last season everyone who tried to bid their entire wad on an advantage at the food auction drew rocks. Could it be for the first time every everyone is smart enough to not buy food at the auction? Still I think if it came down to it I bet Abi Maria and Keith at least would still be stupid enough to buy food instead of waiting for the advantage.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Nashville: More hair drama! Though to be honest I would not have even notice if Maddie died her hair had someone not mentioned it. So it is, what, a shade or two lighter? Does not seem like much of a deal for a sixteen year old.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

The Blacklist: For a "Fall Finale" that was a pretty week Blacklister of the week crew. They may have been the lamest Blacklisters in the history of the show (which is probably why they were not originally on the list). And Ressler's Boy Scout routine was a little much considering he was the one who let Lizzy escapee in the first place. But we got the reveal that the Senator is part of the Cabal though I am not sure how we got there, what was with the thing in Africa, I missed the significance there. Oh well. It looks like the midseason premiere has Lizzy stuck in Reddington's cage where I guess we will have a repeat of the episode where Red got stuck in the box with a shot Ressler this time with Lizzie in the box and the Cabal trying to get in.
The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 11/15/15

Once Upon a Time: If I am not mistaken, this is the first time they ever brought religion into the show. Though I think that maybe the Holy Grail on the show may not be the one Jesus reportedly drank from during The Last Supper. Of course the biggest giveaway was that this Holy Grail is too fancy, as Indiana Jones knows, Jesus would have drank from a more simplistic cup.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

The Librarians: I wonder if the elder Stone realized when he called his son a "song of a (expletive deleted) he was actually defaming his wife.
You can download The Librarians on iTunes.

Homeland: So the guardian Angel that saved Quinn just so happens to be buddies with a jihadist that was released from prison because of the leaked documents. Alrighty. And since Quinn killed him, is he now a leader of the jihadists? But my favorite part of the episode was Dar and Saul going at each other. I love it when people on this show call each other out for doing a horrible job because most of them are. And now that Saul is on to the Russians, how long until he learns his bed buddy is also in beds with them? Hopefully sooner than later.

The Walking Dead: After all the speculation on the fate of Glen (I fell in the the guts the zombies were eating were that of the other guy and he slid under the trash bin and waited the zombies out) the actor's name out of the credits. So either he really is dead or this is the biggest bit of trolling from a television show since Joss Wheadon wanted to put someone he killed of in the Pilot in the credits. I guess I am going to move Gen from the probably alive column to he is Schrodinger's Cat.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

The Affair: As they flashed the "Part 2" on screen I actually groaned thinking I had no desire to see some kid agonize in pain for another segment, but thankfully they flashed ahead a week. I believe this is the first time the second part actually happened after the first part and not at least partially concurrently. And I am horrible with names, but is the guy who is willing to sell the lawyer information about Scotty, is that the same guy who was working at the Lockheart Diner last week and worked as a mechanic back in season one?

Supergirl: I get Kara's explanation on why she does not to ever ask her cousin for help, but when she still ends up being saved by a blurry Superman, who of course makes it back to Metropolis before the show gets back from commercial, that really makes her look bad. But what actually should she expect, Jimmy Olsen's smart watch aside, does she not think he would see the news of one of his rouges kidnapping a business mogul in another ton? He does work at a newspaper.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Gotham: Oh thank goodness, I thought we were going to have a Beth Greene situation on The Walking Dead where they kill off a formally useless character right after they actually made her interesting. I spend most of that last commercial break thinking, that was a very big fall... but... there was a tree there that could break her fall. Of course now she is back in jail. And so is Galavan. So what exactly is his master plan. He said that it was too soon to kill Jim Gordon so he knew Barbara would not be able to kill him and I am guessing he intentionally had her tell Jim about the former mayor's whereabouts. So why exactly incriminate yourself? Still his sister will probably be breaking everyone out again sooner than later.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: What the frack America? I was resigned since the Battle Round that Braiden would be this season's Ryan Sill, but I just assumed that it would be Gwen who would have to Save him, not America. Who are these morons who actually thought Braiden was better than Ellie Lawrence? Did someone resurrect Vote for the Worst and not tell me? And yeah, that Coach's Comeback was a massive fail. Of course Adam did not bring back Andi & Alex instead saved some foddery dude no one asked for and then had him sing a song perfect for duos. Adam is such a troll. Blake brought someone just to give them an embarrassing song. Since his team was weak, I though Pharrell had the best chance of one of these contestants advance but he ended up bring back someone who has not performed in a month.

The show quietly got rid of phone voting this season, I wrote it off as Sprint did not want to front the phone bill and the producers were to cheap to pay it themselves. I did not think it would have much effect on the outcome. Yet somehow even more white dudes advanced than usual. Seriously seventy-percent of the people America saved were Caucasian men. How do you end up with a cast less diverse than a Republican debate? Maybe almost as shocking as Braiden getting voted in over Ellie was Emily Ann getting the top ten iTunes bonus and yet was leaped over by not one but two white dudes for the Public Save. Really not a good week for iTunes predictions, Ellie had a twenty spot advantage, Shelby over took Amy's thirty-seven spot lead, and to a lesser extent, there was Celeste Bennon just five spots above Evan.

C'mon America, enough with the boring white dudes. The show does not need two country dudes (not to mention a third country singer voted through, oh no, we might have a season four repeat with four country singers in the top six), two blue eyed soul singers, and two wanna be alt-rockers who are too boring to be alternative to anything. I guess Madi should be thankful that there was only one white dude on her team. If it does not turn into season four, it will likely turn into season seven where the five girls in the Top 12 were the first five out with no females in the top five.

The Voice should be concerned with this because the long string of white guys with guitars phenomenon was one of American Idol's downfall. The Voice is currently on three straight white dudes and with only two females getting through by America's Vote a fourth is pretty much a lock. The fix is pretty easy, right now you can vote ten times for as many artists as you like. The Voice needs to change that to you get ten votes total per method spread out how every you like. So country fans for example cannot just vote for the four country singers ten times each anymore, instead they would have to decide, do I want to give all ten votes to Barrett or do I want to spread two or three votes among all four of the country singers. Here is my very spiteful Top 12 Power Ranking:

1. Madi Davis
2. Amy Vachal
3. Emily Ann Roberts
4. Korin Bukowski
5. Shelby Brown
6. Mark Hood
7. Jeffery Austin
8. Zach Seabaugh
9. Jordan Smith
10. Barrett Baber
11. Evan McKeel

48. Braiden Sunshine

Blindspot: So Chrissy Seaver's ex-boyfriends is still texting, so maybe is on the take from the CIA guy. But the big news from the episode was we are one episode until the mid-season final!!!!!!!! (I am really getting annoyed by all the midseason finale promos.) And someone will not survive!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So we saw Chrissy Seaver, Jane's childhood friend, and the Latina (I should really try and learn their names soon especially since it has already been renewed for a second season) walk into what looked like a hospital room. Obviously you can cross Lady Siff off the list, there is no show without her. So to quote another NBC star, always bet on black. So is it the head lady chick or the other black dude who has been fairly useless so far. So the latter seems to be the front runner. That is unless the cop out and kill one of the secondary character. Granted there are not many of those, there is the CIA guy (probably not because he is the big bad, it would be silly to get rid of the antagonist already), FBI dude's father or sister (we still do not know much of them, but I am officially guessing option four, Chrissy Seaver's boyfriend. Chrissy learns he is evil and in a bit of conscious, he sacrifices his life to save Chrissy or Lady Siff.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I am officially tired of the Lash storyline, hopefully it is now on ice since he is too. The ACU is reaching that point too, but at least we got a twist this week and we learned the head is working with a head of Hydra.
The question is does she know or does she think she is actually working for the government. But what I am still most interested this season is Simmons alien planet. And is there a more Millennials thing to do than to take selfies while stranded along on an alien planet?
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chances: It seems like a couple times every season I complain of alliances splitting votes for no reason. Usually one their members has the Idol, which they do not want to tell anyone, but splitting votes can easily lead to someone voting for the wrong person, be it intentional or on accident, and someone in your alliance. With that said, how do you have a nine to three numbers advantage and not split the votes. Someone could mess up and you would have still had the votes to get out either Kelley or Ciera. You could have been so paranoid for them to pull a Parvati and break out two Immunity Idols and still had enough to put three votes on Kelley, Ciera, and Abi Maria and get one of them out. Thankfully that did not happen because we would have been deprives of one of the greatest kiss offs in the history of the show when Abi Maria told the departing Savage, "At least you made the jury."
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Nashville: So Scarlett cut her hair. I cannot remember anything else that happened this episode. Jeff died right? But seriously, that hair...
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

The Blacklist: As soon as Red realized the shaving dude was not the bad guy of the week I knew it was Samar's not so dead brother. And what does Samar do when she realizes her brother is alive? Makes out with a dude. And when she learns her brother is a terrorist? Makes out with another dude. I wished all hot chick dealt with drama in that way.
The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 10/31/15

Homeland: During the excitement of the return of Crazy Carrie last week I missed that Quinn was sent there to kill Carrie. Of course he did not. Thankfully we learned by the end of the episode who it was because really, there were only two plausible people in my mind, Dar and the German Bureau chief. Now the question was she also involved in the plane explosion too.

The Walking Dead: So Glen died. Or did he? I have a long standing belief to never believe someone is dead until we see a body. Well we definitely see zombies tear at Glen's flesh. But then there is the addendum to that belief that even if you see the body, I am still skeptical. The skeptical part of me noticed that the dude who killed himself was falling on top of Glen so it is very plausible that the entrails being pulled out were that of the other guy so I would not be that shocked if Glen shows up later in the season saying he slid under the trash bin while the zombies ate the other dude and just waited there to leave. Then I switched over from Quantico during the commercial to Talking Dead, which lack the obligatory actor shows up after he dies which is always kind of painful, as the producers saying in the most vague way possible that we will see Glen again in some capacity and the character was not included in the In Memorium package either. But the bigger question is why was Glen even in that position? How did Morgan make it back to Alexandria but Glen's group could not? And in the alley way, why did they not climb over the fence bordering the woods? But the second rule of this show is if the characters did the smart thing every time, there would be no show.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

The Affair: It seemed like an open and shut case Helen would get full custody of the kids, hey, they were not even around in the future act of the season finale last year with Noah and Allison in their swanky high rise. But how does Helen possibly get any visitation right, let along full custody, after a DUI with the kids in the car and weed in her purse? Grandma may be getting the kids because neither parent seems fit. Or maybe they will get shipped off to their aunt's place. Maybe there is a reason we have yet seen one of the Solloway children in the future yet.

Quantico: This week's Power Ranking of Most Absurd Moments of the Week: 1) The front page picture of Alex which looked like it was taken from a Maxim photo shoot, 2) The live stream instant;u getting twelve million viewers, 3) Taylor Swift (did they already run of hot blondes to call her already or did I just miss it this week) abandoning her mission to have sex with her antagonist.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Supergirl: Oh my, is it too soon to call this the guiltiest guilty pleasure in the history of television?
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Gotham: It was an obvious joke, but I am still glad Barbra suggested Butch put a chainsaw on his stump of a hand (and the same week Ash vs. the Evil Dead premieres to boot). Just as obvious was Kristen Kingle would die which would push Ed closer to being The Riddler, the only question was when and by who's hand. We finally got our answer this week as Ed stupidly admitted to killing her last boyfriend and then suffocated while promising to never hurt her again. Not how long until his wardrobe turns green?
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: So if Emmett was home for the summer and the final scene takes place ten months later, that makes it March / April right? So why are Daphne and Bay are still in China? Are they staying there because I am guessing Bay does not obtain gainful employment for a vacation. And what was the phone call? Ug, I hate cliffhangers like this.
You can download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

The Voice: What the frack?!? This show is just trolling me at this point. Andi & Alex were number one on my Battle Ranking Power Rankings, go first and get booted by Adam in favor of some mediocre rocker who has little chance of making it to the top twelve (unless Adam is stupid enough to save him so it is not entirely out of the question). Next up is Ellie Lawrence, who topped my Blind Audition Power Ranking, who goes out to Braiden Sunshine, who has sat in the bottom both times. Making things worse I joked in that post that Braiden would end up being this season's Ryan Sill (never forget), beating Gwen's lone four chair singer in the Battle Round, then probably beat Ellie in the Knockout Round, before Gwen inexplicably saved him in the Playoffs. That was a joke Gwen, you were not supposed to actually do this. Sure picking Demi Lovato was kind of disaster (has anyone ever advanced on this show singing one of her songs) but still I would take Ellie at her worst than Braiden at his worst. I really hate this show. Is it really hard to get the twenty best singers to the Live Show? It seem like five of the twelve that advanced this week just scream fodder and whose only chance to advance is if their coaches save them. I would have said six but sadly Viktor will probably advance by the public because the bored housewife voting block will be voting for his face over his voice.

Blindspot: I would say it is kind of random to have the other chick from Young and Hungry show up on your serious drama but I guess the first time I noticed her was when she was recurring during the first season of The Americans. Since she has that other gig, it is a shame she cannot stick around because it got really sad watching Jane try to connect with anyone and getting shut down every time. Plus that nerd fight scene with the tech person on the team was fun too. Oh well.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Marvel's Agent's of S.H.I.E.L.D.: We finally get the what happened to Simmons episode and sadly no talking ducks were involved. I actually enjoyed the first segment but as soon as the astronaut showed up I got less and less involved. Then the ending was just silly, seriously, hold each other's hands so you do not get separated. And though we know know what went on, we are left with more questions, like what is "death." Then you have the promo saying May's husband died last week. Alrighty, there goes my theory that he survived.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Wicked City: I do not really need another serial killer show in my life, but hey, it is the chick from Swimf@n and it is not like there is anything else on at the time. But how exactly how long will the show last if the detective was able to figure out who it is in the first episode. Take the reporter to the artist and then post the picture around town.
You can download Wicked City on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chances: What a great decision to switch tribes up as many times this season, it is much better than having silly gimmicks like Redemption Island (and the promos says there are merging early next week too). You have one tribe with only one original member of the other tribe but she was the one with an Immunity Idol. Then there was Stephan's weird tearful rant about not wanting an Alpha Male beating him again. But of course it was Abi Maria's tribe that went to Tribal Council. And what weird bedfellows that ousted Woooooooooooo. Aside from Abi Maria, you had Chaos Kass, her nemesis Spencer, and a paranoid Ciera who did appreciate Savage putting her name in his mouth. Seriously, has there ever been a weirder alliance than those four? It will be interesting to see how things shake up after the merge. Will that five strong alliance actually stick together (since not one alliance has stayed strong I am guessing no), and if so, they still need two more for a majority. But now that we are at the merge, you have to go ahead and pencil in Abi Maria into the finals because who would not want to sit next to her. Imagine what fireworks a Abi Maria vs. Kass would produce. But thankfully Terry's son turned out to be alright. You never want to see someone go home like that. It is a bit surprising that it does not happen more often. I believe it was only the second time in thirty season.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Nashville: When drunk young Wheeler walked out on the terrace, I thought, oh no, he is the one going over the edge, not Juliette. Instead Jeff awkwardly fell over while trying to save her. Poor Juliette, the one guy who could spin this into her favor just splattered on the sidewalk. And poor Layla, her husband turned out to be gay, she gets dropped from one label and put on the back burner of another, and now her boyfriend dies of what will be ruled as an apparent suicide depending on what dunked young Wheeler says.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

The Blacklist: There is nothing I hate on television more than the x amount of time earlier place card. Am I really supposed to believe they killed off Lizzy? Never crossed my mind even when they were significantly outnumbered in the Mexican standoff. But I did like that the person who put the hit on her was a teenage girl not like the CIA guy who seemed too obvious or the Congresswoman who was another suspect of mine.
The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 10/25/15

Once Upon a Time: So King Arthur us evil, and Lancelot is (presumable) going to break the curse with his love true kiss with Gwenavere? Huh? And what happened to the Brave chick. I thought she went to Camelot with everyone else and she was thrown in jail with no one else noticing?
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: Crazy Carrie is back! Is this the first time since season two since we have seen Carrie off her meds (not including when she got drugged last season)? I am pretty sure I saw Dar on her crazy picture wall too so my CIA is at least crazy enough for Crazy Carrie. Then there was the scene with the Berlin chief talking to someone from her bathroom. Obviously who she was talking to was going to be a twist. At first I thought she was going to be a lesbian, but that would be too cliched of a twist. Then I thought she was hooking up with the Foundation head. But no, she has been hooking up with Saul. Alrighty. That certainly makes their bickering over the past couple episodes more pointed and Saul's about face of sending her home make more sense. But now the big question is just what is Quinn going to do with Carrie now that he has her?

The Walking Dead: Too many initials this week. At least we learned the W were Wolves. But what does JSS mean? And what was with the A on Carol's porch?
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

The Affair: After the show flipped up its formats this season, I kind of held out hope that this season would continue to be random instead of following some combination of Noah / Helen / Alison / Cole like I pretty much assumed after the first two episodes. For instance, during the first segment this week I was hoping the second segment episode would follow drunk daughter. Alas instead we just got Allison tagging along as her boss went to kill his dog (but thankfully just scared him off). Le sigh. Maybe drunk daughter will be the format change in season three. Considering he is the one that dies, you would think Scotty and his teen girlfriend would get to tell their stories at some point.

Gotham: Yeah, this show is much more entertaining when crazy Barbra around.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: I complain a lot about how bad the coaches are at picking songs when the Battle Rounds start and all my complains can be summed up in the Higher Ground battle. Seriously Pharrell, why are assigning a funk classic to two of the WASPiest WASPs this season? The Red Hot Chili Peppers are the only white people who have earned the right to sing that song. That performance reminded me of the time I was working at the local amphitheater where I had to sit through 98° giving the happiest performance ever of Superstition while I stood there head in hands wondering how this was happening.

But surprisingly there was one coach who actually made some inspired song choices and Cee-Lo is still on his sabbatical (okay, Adam did have one inspired song randomly pulling The Calling out of his musical quiver). Sure Gwen is a horrible coach with a bad team, so bad half of her Battle got montaged. but kudos for finally having the guts to get Regina Spektor cleared. This show loves the quirky girl but surprisingly nobody had ever done a song by the patron saint of quirky girls up to this point I was beginning to think that either the producers thought Regina was too obscure (though I would think she is more well known than Ingrid Michaelson who's song was featured a couple seasons back) or she would not clear her songs for singing show. Hopefully now that the president has been set Regina's whole catalog can be raided.

And it was not just Regina Specktor who Gwen introduced to The Voice audience for the first time. Yeah The Calling was random, but that was last decade, Gwen went back two more decades to resurrect Howard Jones. And though they got the dreaded montage placement, Gwen also assigned The Wreckers and Talk Talk (sure that song was eventually made famous by No Doubt). I am usually the pro-montage guy but most of the montaged Battles looked much more interesting than most that actually got shown, aside from those two new songs that have never been performed on the show before, there were the two coffee-house singers on Team Pharrell doing Riptide, heck, I would have even rather seen the weird Blake assigned co-ed duet of Baby One More Time; sure it probably was a trainwreck, but a trainwreck would have been much more entertaining than yet another boring overdone Motown song done by people whose parents may have not even been born yet when the songs were released.

Blindspot: Nothing better than a good old Mexican standoff between government agencies. But it seems now that Jane used to be one of the CIA's assetts and evil CIA guy wants her back or at least eliminate Jane before she remembers anything.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I spend all season wondering what was going on with Simmons but for the first couple episodes her story has been relegated to that pre-credit scene at the end of the episode. And just when she was about to explain what happened to her in the galaxy far, far away, they cut to black. Boooo. At the promo monkey makes it seem the next episode is going to be a flashback. Hopefully it is the whole episode and does not inner-spliced with the Inhumans saga. I guess I should guess who Lash's other version is; um, if it is someone we know, that does not seem like a long list. Baron's son is probably at the top of the list. Of course my number one rule of television is if you do not see the body, they are not dead (and even then I am a bit skeptical) I do not believe Blair Underwood is dead, maybe that was Baron's son running from Blair. But I am going with Coulson's new love interest who also has been hunting down Inhumans and for some reason was not riding in the van. Speaking of inconsistencies in storytelling, if Lash wants to kill all Inhumans, why did he not go after Daisy while she was incapacitated?
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chances: After the first or second episode I said Varner was overplaying himself out of the game and a couple episodes later he is gone. You can also say Monica got voted out this week for playing to hard, except she made the right play. Take out the potential women's alliance (seriously Kimmi, why are you irate at this, you are a female, she is saying she is not voting you out), going after Spencer was the right choice. I would trust Kelly way more than I would trust him. So for the third straight time after the tribe swap, the former tribe with the most members voted one of their own out. The final five that was made this week may end up being just that because the other two tribes are overplaying themselves out of this game. But hey, this week was the very first time Abi Maria did not go to Tribal Council. Who would have thunk it? Good for her.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Finally a "previously on" package, unfortunately they did not remind me who Pee-Wee Herman was. So now I am even more confused as to why he shot Red's henchman. So was he a plant by the kidnappers, or did he turn on him for other reasons?
The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 10/18/15

Once Upon a Time: Why is Snow White so quick to believe Sir Lancelot, this is clearly a different dude (wait, was that the same guy poising as an usher at the beginning of the season who told Emma not to pull the sword from the stone)? But anyway. I am beginning to think King Arthur is not who he says he is, maybe he is Merlin in disguises and the real King Arthur is in the tree. But what is bugging me is that all the new characters that come to Storybrooke never change their clothes anymore. Can't they get the Camelotians a change of clothes?
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: My favorite part of the early season was when the leaker was talking about how the German spies were probably searching her apartment right now and she did not mind as long as they did not let her cat out, cut to the German spy deadpanning, "Did you see a cat?" Awesome. I also found it interesting that the one guy accused Carrie of being a Trojan Horse for Saul in the evil foundation. That would totally be something they would do (and kind of did in season three when he sold her out to the Senate). But their interaction during their first interaction was too raw and there was no one around for it to be for show (but then again Carrie looked stunned when Saul sold her out to the Senate and no one was around then either). Another great scene was when the German Bureau Chief called out Saul for doing anything for Carrie whenever she messed up but quickly sold her out after one mistake. It is about time someone did that. But the big question is who want Carrie dead? Is the CIA too obvious?

The Walking Dead: Last week I called the plan from the season finale of Fear the Walking Dead the dumbest idea in the history of dumb ideas, but the main show came close. Would it have not been wiser to just set the whole lot on fire instead of Pied Pipering them to... where exactly were they leading all the zombies? Of course, as I have said many times before, if these characters were smart it would be a very boring show.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Quantico: Wait, the gay dude (who is probably not even gay) is in cahoots with Jacob from Lost? Huh, that makes little to no sense and just a shock for shock sake. If your secret agent knows where the suspect is, who not send in the SWAT team? Which probably means Jacob is in on the whole conspiracy. And why is she still on the run anyway, doesn't the fingerprint thing just exonerate her?
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Gotham: Wait, did I just see a grown man punch a teenage girl on national television? That is messed up.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: I really do not like the Battle Round, they just seem to drag on since they went from four Battles per hour to three after the first season. I figured I would just watch the episode On Demand later and watched other programming live (I still watched the second hour Monday live thanks to the lack of anything else on at the time). Except when I went to watch On Demand, I just went, nope, cannot watch this crap anymore after the boring hour I already sat through. So I just watched the YouTube versions, so overextended training clips and stop watching when the coaches start talking in hyperbole about how great the performances are just to sit on their hands when Carson tells them the losing singer is available for a Steal. Plus the two bald jokes I already heard got old real quick.

Even condensing those two hours into less than twenty minutes on YouTube (seriously, there were 180 minutes of the show airing this week and only something less than a half an hour are devoted to people actually performing) this week was quite dreadful. The only thing more shocking then Blake picking Zach (I agree with Blake more than any other coach, but I disagreed with each of his decisions) was that Battle was not montaged. Seriously, just how bad were those montaged Battles that they were possibly worse than that Battle. I have a hard time believing it was worse than Madi vs. Sydney, two of my five favorite Blind Auditions this season. Then you had Ivonne vs. Siahna Im which definitely would have been montaged had Gwen and Blake inexplicably pushed their Steal buttons. That was not even the most head scratching Steal Gwen tried this week as giving Regina Love a second chance was mostly unnecessary, not that any of the other loser were really worthy of one either. Can we please just montage the rest of the Battle Round and go straight to the Knockout Round next week please?

Blindspot: I tune into this show mostly to see Lady Sif beating dudes up but maybe one of the few things more entertaining than that is seeing two dudes in HAZMAT suits trying to beat each other up. My favorite part was hen FBI guy reached for his gun and realized, oh wait, I am wearing a HAZMAT suit. But the more serial aspects of the show got really confusing. Seriously, carbon dating teeth can tell you where someone was born? What? If true, does it make the most sense that Lady Sif's teeth were replaced? And while I am predicting things, Chrissy Seaver's boyfriend has to be evil, right? The boring significant other on conspiracy shows are always evil.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Castle: I saw it coming a mile away because I thought early on that the blind priest was going to be involved, but still, the sight of a "blind" priest runnung away was still hilarious.
You can download Castle.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: My favorite part of the episode was when the went subtitles for the Cockneys. But I had to wonder when Fitz showed up right after that scene why they do not subtitle him too but he is unintelligible at times. I was very disappointed that Simmons did not even bring back a parasite or anything and thought we were going to go through a season of watching her get back to normal like Fitz last season, but thankfully the end credits scene she had a Jack from Lost moment saying we have to go back. It would have been a total waste of a cliffhanger if we never say that planet, or any of it inhabitants again. But why exactly does she want to go back? Is the English guy from the opening of last episode still there? Did she befriend an anthropomorphic duck?
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chances: How disappointing that Abi Maria did not flip alliances for the forth straight episode. I was actually begining to think this may actually be the episode that the tide turned against Abi Maria, but shockingly her name did not come of across anyone's lips (well aside from when Abi Maria reminded Woooooooooooooo not to write her name; classic Abi Maria). Almost as surprising was that everyone played the short game and booted Jeff because Wooooooooooo is better at challenges. I get booting Jeff because he is slippery, but how do you even know you would have another swap before your next challenge? Probst could swap tribes every two weeks until the merge. But before that, that was a boring Reward Challenge. If you are going to only have one person per tribe participate, at least let the other tribes pick who does it. It would have been much more entertaining had it been Abi Maria vs. Cierra, vs. Kimmi bumbling their way threw a challenge instead of three alpha males.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Nashville: I like how the alt-rock dude just called out everybody's dirty laundry. Though I was surprised when he met Layla he did not say, oh yeah, you are the reality star with the gay husband, right? Hopefully he sticks around long enough to cover Juliet's latest album in its entirety in the vein of Joy Division.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Again, the show seriously needs a "previously on" package. I remember Pee Wee Herman was on the last season, but I barely remember who he was on the show.
The Blacklist on iTunes.